Be Kind to Unkind People
Added on 12 March 2021
At some stage we will all meet with someone who is unkind. This may be to a small degree which is annoying, or to a large one which is life changing. We greet unkindness as a personal insult; we make it about 'us'. The ego does not like unkindness, yet by nature greets unkindness with unkindness in return.
Unkindness comes from an unhappy place, an isolated place or even an ignorant place & as well as many other emotions. Even discussing unkindness with others rarely offers stories of their own unkindness, but that of others & how they fight against it. Yet we are all guilty of being unkind, we rarely see it as such, so we never think it applies to us.
Unkindness resulting from unhappiness causes a blinkered view of the world, only seeing what is going on in their own head; depression & anxiety do not often lead us to see beyond what is playing out in our own minds. When it comes to dealing with others this can leave us lacking the energy to do so, so how we may not offer time, support or our wisdom to others when they ask or appear to need it, we may walk past the woman who has just had her shopping bag break spilling its contents, as much as we may not hug a dear friend in need. If energy is lacking we may wish to close our eyes & hearts to those who need support.
Feelings of isolation can make us feel that others do not wish our interaction; we can feel awkward which can come across as rude or aloof, when really, we feel stuck between wishing to help but not wishing to insult anyone by getting involved. When we feel alone, others may think that it should be easy to reach out to others, yet after time or when certain emotions control the isolation, or even physical conditions it can be hard to break down your own walls to reach out to others. Sometimes it is simply being out of practice, & others just not knowing how to. Time with isolation can leave us doubting that we have anything of real value to help with, so a perfectly normal looking soul can come across as rude, when really they are lost in an internal battle feeling separate from the world about them, leaving them in the eyes of the onlooker as ignoring what needs kindness.
When it comes from ignorance it is simply the other not knowing or understanding your viewpoint, your needs or wishes. There is a lack of knowledge, wisdom & therefore communication. We are all ignorance, I know we all like to think we are enlightened souls but we are not, no one person encompasses everyone & everything, we all judge. This judgement causes us to not view from the perspective of those we do not understand, we see our own views but not that of others so readily if them or their beliefs or problems are not on our radar. Sometimes it is a lack of interest which causes us to be ignorant of the needs of others, either it bores or it is beyond us. To someone in their 50’s a teenager talking & needing support with a relationship may be greeted with a brush off, as the 50 year old has forgotten what it feels like to have teenage angst, as it has long been left behind.
Rudeness is not a sign of rudeness in itself in most cases, it hides another story.
What we expect from others based on what we are willing to give, we get all selfish when it comes to others being what we view as unkind, either way when someone is unkind, we have to look solely to ourselves as that is where the grievance lays. If you are offended by another rudeness you have to take action & responsibility for how you are left feeling.
We should all remember that we are all guilty of being rude, tactless & unhelpful at times, it is human nature. So when someone is rude to you, look to see why & both of you may gain more that you bargain for.